do NAHT

things you just shouldn't do:


- try to gasp for air while washing your face. 
 result: a mouthful of soapy water.

- invite a porcupine into your sex life.  
result: more than just a pain in your ass.

- request that your flatmate throw the tape-player into the bathtub with you
when 'white rabbit' peaks.  
result: probable death.  not everybody is as kind
as hunter s. - not everybody will throw a grapefruit at your head. 

- swing really, super high directly after eating.  
result: puking.  potential choking hazard.  definite memory keeper.

- trying to be sexy after drinking a lot.
result: tits falling out of your shirt, drool sliding out of the side of your mouth,
slurred poetic verses of love, and eventual passing out in the lap of the person
you're desperately trying to swoon.
result of that: no phone call the next day.

- head bang while driving.
result: you will look stupid.  ladies will hate you.  men will laugh.

- give your child caffeine.
result: loss of sanity.  yours, not theirs. (oh.  and it's bad parenting.  waffle-twat.)

- put out a fire with your body.
result: you'll most likely catch on fire.  if you're alone, you're probably fucked.

- trying to walk on water whilst tripping on acid.
result: you won't be walking on water, you'll be drowning in it.

- sticking your head into the mouth of a lion.
result: one of two things can happen here.  either the lion is
docile and has the utmost patience for your circus stupidity OR
he eats your face.  either way, is it worth the risk?

keep adding to this list.  i'm going to bed.