bedtime thoughts

life.

full of glory, pain, triumph, boredom, knowledge, lessons, love, loss, shitty diapers, sippy cups, band-aids, tylenol, doctor appointments, psychiatrists ... yeah.  something like that.

the point is, no matter where we're at or what we're going through - things can always be worse.
we strive for better and resent the current - and frankly, that's a piss poor way of going about things.
i'm just as guilty though.  looking past all the silver lining and letting the weight of all the not-so-joyful happenings drag me to the ground, through 15 layers of dog shit, and (unsurprisingly) landing me in front of a speeding bus - because that's how it goes.

but it really doesn't have to be that way.  i mean, there will always be struggles.  it's unavoidable.
i guess we all forget sometimes the things we have that we need to be holding onto with the grip of death. those little lights in our lives that pick us up guide us through the trenches of fucking doom - one swift kick to the ass at a time.

and though those things may not be exactly what we want or expect right now, at least we have them.  those little happy things can turn into giant happy things if we play our cards right - especially if we stop focusing on the downside (and nine times out of ten, a paranoid-induced downside that isn't likely).

a flower can grow out of a pile of shit.  and that flower starts to stir beneath the surface of said shit, where nobody can see it .... and then, before we know it, something totally kick ass has brightened our day (even though it started from, well, shit.)

so.  water your shit-flowers and stop grazing in the fields of impenetrable negativity.
it's the only way to go.
i'm fucking tired.
goodnight.

dear nature:

we've known each other for a while.  i've climbed your branches and swam in your streams.  i've buried fallen g.i. joe's in your soil.  i've ran through your woods like a ninja just to capture the flag.  i've sniffed your flowers with appreciation, found bunnies and dragons in your clouds, and left my tongue out in the cold for the sake of catching the first snowflake.  i've stared at your brooding storms with wonderment, danced like a hippie in your rain, and cursed at your desire to freeze things ... like my toes.

i've smeared your earth across my face like war paint, picked your clovers for luck, and rolled around in your grasses on a hot summer day.  i've gone spelunking in your caves, scaled your walls of limestone, and humbled myself on your cliffs near your shores.  your wind-songs have soothed my sadness, your thunder has ignited my soul, and your lightning (frankly) scares the shit out of me.

of all the beautiful things you are, i have but one bone to pick with you:


winter.  make it stop now.