i've been sick for a fair few weeks, and it eventually landed me in the hospital. persistent retching, weight loss, and pissing blood .... all the lovely things that label one with 'sickness'. blah blah blah. it was great.
luckily, i have some of the sweetest friends in the world who got me through it, and family that was willing to watch my sprogs while i was sprawled (pathetically) in a hospital bed. the accommodations were nice though, the morphine kept me entertained, and i love having george carlin read to me. so that was pretty awesome too.
i'm home now, but still feeling like i've been ran over by a bus filled with angry nuns, so i'm going to bitch and moan.
1) who the fuck still supports avril lavigne? i saw her face upon the recommended pages on facebook and it churned my stomach with disgust. i hated her when i was a teenager, and i still hate her. that.is.not.music.
2) i've just been informed that clorox bleach owns hidden valley foodstuffs. i am uncomfortable with this knowledge.
3) hpnotiq. my initial complaint is that it's spelled in a fucking lazy way. the secondary complaint is that, while the blue hpnotiq tastes okay, (usually after i've been sipping on my old faithful of vodka and mt. dew) .... well .... that purple shit is .... exactly that. it smells like potpourri that my nan has had in a bowl for months, and tastes the same way it smells. it's undrinkable. it's some kind of foul concoction of said potpourri, rotted petunias, and the piss of tainted faeries.
4) to all people who do not use their indicators (turn signals): i hope acidic snails eat away at your brake pads, revoking your ability to drive. it's not that god damn hard to flip the little knob at a bare minimum of 20 feet before you turn. that's what they're for, to warn drivers behind you that you're about to yield and drive in a different direction. when you fail to use the indicator, the good folks behind you either come very close to smashing into your shitty bmw or just become irate. neither of which are good, because the heightened stress can cause a rise in blood pressure and maybe even a heart attack - which, if this happens while they're in the car (behind you) their car is going to kiss your car anyway.
5) internet speak is lame. wat is not easier than what. it's a difference of one letter, you lazy fucks. ure is not easier than your or you're, and the difference between your and you're isn't that hard to remember either. to and too ... and two. simple words. how can you fuck this up? and why fuck this up? it's ridiculous.
misspelling words is also a grammatical catastrophic epidemic. all sites now provide instant spell check, using a beautiful red squiggly line to indicate you've spelled something wrong. if it's too difficult to right click the word in question and fix it, maybe you should back away from the computer, slowly.
i'm tired now. that is all. until next time, my friends.
luckily, i have some of the sweetest friends in the world who got me through it, and family that was willing to watch my sprogs while i was sprawled (pathetically) in a hospital bed. the accommodations were nice though, the morphine kept me entertained, and i love having george carlin read to me. so that was pretty awesome too.
i'm home now, but still feeling like i've been ran over by a bus filled with angry nuns, so i'm going to bitch and moan.
1) who the fuck still supports avril lavigne? i saw her face upon the recommended pages on facebook and it churned my stomach with disgust. i hated her when i was a teenager, and i still hate her. that.is.not.music.
2) i've just been informed that clorox bleach owns hidden valley foodstuffs. i am uncomfortable with this knowledge.
3) hpnotiq. my initial complaint is that it's spelled in a fucking lazy way. the secondary complaint is that, while the blue hpnotiq tastes okay, (usually after i've been sipping on my old faithful of vodka and mt. dew) .... well .... that purple shit is .... exactly that. it smells like potpourri that my nan has had in a bowl for months, and tastes the same way it smells. it's undrinkable. it's some kind of foul concoction of said potpourri, rotted petunias, and the piss of tainted faeries.
4) to all people who do not use their indicators (turn signals): i hope acidic snails eat away at your brake pads, revoking your ability to drive. it's not that god damn hard to flip the little knob at a bare minimum of 20 feet before you turn. that's what they're for, to warn drivers behind you that you're about to yield and drive in a different direction. when you fail to use the indicator, the good folks behind you either come very close to smashing into your shitty bmw or just become irate. neither of which are good, because the heightened stress can cause a rise in blood pressure and maybe even a heart attack - which, if this happens while they're in the car (behind you) their car is going to kiss your car anyway.
5) internet speak is lame. wat is not easier than what. it's a difference of one letter, you lazy fucks. ure is not easier than your or you're, and the difference between your and you're isn't that hard to remember either. to and too ... and two. simple words. how can you fuck this up? and why fuck this up? it's ridiculous.
misspelling words is also a grammatical catastrophic epidemic. all sites now provide instant spell check, using a beautiful red squiggly line to indicate you've spelled something wrong. if it's too difficult to right click the word in question and fix it, maybe you should back away from the computer, slowly.
i'm tired now. that is all. until next time, my friends.
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